You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
