So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
