dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
