just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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