Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
