i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
did i just pee glitter
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
