Your face is a jimmy john
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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