really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize