put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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