Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
