So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
