I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
