you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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