you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
