I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
