I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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