Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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