2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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