Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
