GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
