is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize