I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
