YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i dont even know how to be here
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
