Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
