ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
