Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
