Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
