sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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