Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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