I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
