Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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