no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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