and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she peed on how many people?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize