you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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