Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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