Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they need to just BURY HIM!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize