The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
