we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
