shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
