"it" just moved
I just pynch a tree in the face
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
