i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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