We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
