The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize