I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
