chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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