If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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