I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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