Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
