Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize