I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize