Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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