I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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