My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
