I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
