So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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