Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
