I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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