hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
